Lent Day 42: Gift Giving

First of all I want to state that I thought Lent was supposed to be 40 days. It would appear that a sneaky three days have been added. I'm sure in the greater workings of the cosmos three days isn't a lot... but three days, in this particular Lent story, are actually universe changing. Three days start with death and end with everlasting life. 

I'll tell you someone else who is finding the days to be a bit long in the tooth - my Gray. It's Gray's 10th birthday next week. I can't believe that my boy, the one whose whole existence changed my reality and being (and inspired the name of this blog) is hitting the double digits. Like I said many years ago in a blog - having a son is like going through a very slow breakup. As they grow they get more confident and strong and independent and dad starts to be more important and that's how it should be. But a mom will always treasure that soft little vulnerable thing whose first love will always be her. 

I must say this holiday has found a number of moments when a boy's hand has found its way into his mother's hair, and there have been cuddles and game viewing from the comfort of my lap. My little boy is still there and now I treasure those moments of physical closeness because I know they dont last forever. 

On the subject of my Gray we were fortunate enough to discover fairly early on that his love language is gift giving... and more importantly at the moment - gift recieving. When a little four year old could line up all his cars and say exactly when he got them and who gave them to him we realized that the exchange of a physical thing to signify love was really important to him. Stephen's love language is also gift giving. 

Which puts me in a very difficult position...

Ask any of my friends from my teenage years and they will tell you that I totally suck at presents. A. I never remember birthday dates so chances of you actually getting a present are slim. And B even if I know it's your birthday ironically my creativity just doesn't extend that far. I just wish the Five Love Languages had been around when I was a teenager so I could have just given my friends poems instead. My reputation for crap gifts is so renowned that my friend Jax and I still give each other 'kak gifts' every year, and we've been doing this since we were 17. And it's not a 'kak gift' unless it's come from a charity shop and has someone's leftover sprinklings on it. 

And so the irony of having both a son and a husband who send and recieve love through gifts is not lost on me. When these two birthdays start to stalk me you can ask me how I'm doing and I'll probably quote my favourite movie - 'Geez Daryl I'm sweating'. The pressure is immense and the goal posts keep moving. Two months before said birthdays I behave in a Sherlock manner prodding around for possible gift leads. Having already bought Gray the cleats and peddles he's been asking for since he learnt to ride a bike at the age of two he stated yesterday that he's probably not into mountain biking anymore, but he would like a Squishamellow. A Squishamellow? I haven't bought Gray a stuffed toy in the past five years. (But I can't be sure, I would probably have to ask Gray to audit that statement.) 

For the record peddles and riding cleats are not cheap so best Gray get back on his bike. 

But I will also look into Squishamellows.

On the other end of the spectrum is Eva whose best Christmas present this year was an empty balloon. 

Learning how to love each other, and communicate that love effectively, is perhaps one of the greatest gifts if all, but it's also hard. It means we have to put the needs of someone else before our own, we have to be selfless and we have to value behaviours and actions that we don't think are important. When we think about the giving and recieving of gifts Christmas should pale into insignificance because our greatest gift of love, which was three days in the making, is about to be given.