Running on empty

 

Yesterday, as I was driving my two children home from various playdates and activities, my car came to a dead stop right in front of our gate. Right in front of our gate. I literally could not get it to go another centimeter. 

After a couple of confusing moments trying to work out what could have possibly gone wrong and how I could have broken my car we ascertained that I had run out of petrol. 

Right in front of our gate.

I have never, in my entire life, run out of petrol. 

But this will speak to you about the overwhelming reality that I am living in. And I say this because I know that at least 80% of people reading this are probably in the same boat as me for one reason or another. 

There's just too much noise, and worry, and anxiety to sometimes see the little flashing red light that tells us that we're running on empty. And maybe its just every single person who I have recently had any kind of interaction with who feels like this or it is all of us. I suspect it is all of us.

And the reasons for this overload of general life will be different for all of us but the underlying spirit is the same for all of us - grief, fear, uncertainty, change. Just ask anyone who lives in KZN and we'll tell you all about it. We're a veritable catchment of crap. Floods, riots, looting, corruption, pandemic. We've had it all going on. The low key post traumatic stress that undergirds everything at the moment doesn't make for easy living. 

Add to this astronomical grocery bills, sick children, job insecurity, health issues, safety issues, ludicrous petrol prices, relationship issues and it is no wonder that people are too busy to heed the warning signs. And we come to a grinding halt.   

Anyone who knows me well knows that God made me with a flair for the dramatic and as such He communicates with me in a way that is so obvious and beautiful and visual that I can't but stop and listen.

I ran out of petrol the moment it was safe for me to do so. Right in front of our gate.

When the reality of how different everything would be had this happened at any other point in my incredibly busy day on the road I actually got hysterical. Holding my children last night thanking God that my average day had ended averagely and not tragically still overwhelms me. And as I poured my gratitude into Heaven last night the voice I love so much whispered, 'Grace for a day.' 

And in this case - 'petrol for the journey.'

I can feel my tank beginning to fill again. Sometimes it takes a moment like this to put everything else into perspective. When I reimagine yesterday I can see a very real power sustaining my vehicle until we were safe.

And sometimes we don't see the power, sometimes we barely feel like we will make it to the end of the day and it is not an obvious physical moment like mine was, but the invisible forces that seek to shelter and protect us are there. They are everywhere. 

And sometimes the miracles are not big and dramatic and God's grace is found in the courage you have to get our of bed in the morning. And on certain days getting out of bed is a big enough miracle. 

Today if you are reading this with an empty tank I pray my story will encourage you to know that we often make it safely despite ourselves. 

Right to our front gate.