Healing Event

The picture above documents a pretty standard event in our household. It's actually a daily event. It's my 'reboot' nap. 

As many of you will know I suffer from congenital hearing loss that is ultimately going to lead to me having to have cochlear implants. 

Many of you will also know that I'm a Drama teacher. 

Being half deaf and a Drama teacher isn't one of my favourite combinations. 

I have only ever identified with a Miss South Africa once and that's when our current Miss South Africa, Mia Le Roux, pulled out of the Miss Universe pageant due to health issues related to her ears. She was suffering from vertigo and 'deaf fatigue'. Never has a fatigue more accurately described my daily struggle to have enough capacity for everything required of me. 

And I'm going to be honest - it's has, of late, really been getting me down. It's my Achilles heal, or Achilles ear if you will, and I can't help but wonder how much easier everything would be if I could hear and then not suffer from my very problematic auditory processing disorder. 

So I've been praying about it. More specifically I've been praying about whether I should seek to be healed or not. I have seen enough miracles in my life to know that the healing of my ears can 100% happen but I wanted to find the will of God in my suffering. 

A week ago I saw that a local church was having a healing event this weekend. I made a mental note of this and last night (being Saturday night) I checked the church's insta feed and realised that I had missed the event as it happened on Saturday morning. 

This morning I went to church, leaving my three people at home in their pj's. Going alone to church is a treat for me as I can just be still, not wondering if the music is too loud for my (ironically) sound sensitive husband and children. 

After an insightful and powerful message from a visiting pastor we were invited to come up for prayer if we felt that we needed healing. 

I realised that this was my moment to step forward and ask for healing. But I prayed first. And this was God's immediate response, His voice more powerful than the worship music that surrounded me in that moment -

He said, 'Emily I can heal you but then you will be losing one of your super powers and that would take away some of the great calling I have for your life...'

And then he showed me two moments that happened this week. 

Moment one happened this week when the delightful Aaron Mcillroy came to work with my boys this week on our upcoming school production. While he was explaining something to the boys our school bell went off and he was immediately distracted and his ADHD kicked in. He then explained to the boys that he has ADHD, and many of them nodded in acknowledgement of their own ADHD, and then he described having ADHD as having a super power because it allows you to take in multiple things at any given moment and helps you to see the world in an entirely different way. Sometimes what the world sees as a disability is actually more a different ability. 

Moment two was when one of my more reserved students came to talk to me about something his family is going through. Someone he loves is going through a similar issue to me in that the very sense that this person relies on to do their job, to function, to survive, is mysteriously not working. And after countless tests he and his family are anxiously awaiting one final test result which will determine what happens next. He said the reason he came to talk to me about it is because I had shared how hard it is for me to function when the very sense I rely on to do my job is the one that is failing me. He said he told me because he knew that I would know how the person he loves must be feeling. He knew he could find empathy from me. 

And that was God's answer. Delivered through two people who had no idea, that at that particular moment in time they were answering a prayer I hadn't even prayed yet. 

Because in our weakness God makes us strong, in our suffering He gives us hope, in our deafness we can hear Him and in our testimony of grace God can heal those who need to be healed. 

While writing this blog a final part of God's vision from church this morning has already started to fall into place...

When I posted my final Lent blog a few weeks ago my cousin Karl reached out to me to ask if I would consider recording my blogs because he is neurodivergent and would rather listen than read because he is easily distracted. He's is a tech genius and offered to help me to set up an audiobook style blog for those who would rather listen than read. At this very minute we are discussing recording apps, mics and online platforms - all of which are completely foreign to me. Luckily I have cousin Karl - another beautiful part of the body of Christ. 

I am hoping that I will soon be able to launch my germinating dream of an audio and visual combination of my thoughts- 'Eyes and Ears' - so that I can share my heart with a wider audience and acknowledge that we all experience life through multiple ways depending on our super powers. Some of us need to see to understand, some of us need to hear to understand. 

And all of us need to know that when we are a part of the body of Christ what may not be that functional in us will be carried by the super powers of others.  Sometimes our greatest weakness in this world is actually God's greatest strength in the one to come.