Kiara, contractions and the time in between.
It's that horrific time of year. The time between Christmas and the start of the new year. If you're South African it's also the time when even the strongest start googling aircon specials. The gammon is starting to look a bit iffy but you are buggered if you're actually going to cook an actual meal. You've already worn your new Christmas clothes once and if you're a parent half your child's new toys are already looking a bit battle weary.
This year two things happened during this no man's land time that really put things into perspective for me. The first was that a very distant relation of mine, little Kiara Mun-Gavin, was in a horrific car accident which left part of her skull fractured. The second was that I started showing some early signs of labour.
Every day I have read the deeply powerful updates that Jaci (Kiara's mom) has been posting about their journey into a moment frozen in time. A moment no parent ever wants to consider. A moment when you have to face the possibility that the child you have created may die or be left in a state of severe brain damage and nonfunction.
It has been a story that has utterly captivated thousands of people across the world. It is a story so compelling that even the most hard hearted have been led to a place of vulnerability. And at this point it is not even about who Kiara is as a person - although by all accounts she seems to be the most magnificent of people. It is about her parents, Jaci and Richard.
Who of us can possibly say that we truly believe that if and when the time comes we can present our children before God and submit completely to His will for them? Now I am not one of those who believes that God secretly plans bad things to happen to good people. That's not the God I serve, and that is not what any parent would do to their child either. I do, however, believe that God has the power to bring grace, love and hope to any situation. Just as we as parents will hopefully try to assist our children in finding the positive out of the negative. The thing with God is that his positives are so much bigger than we can imagine and so we often blame Him for our suffering rather than rejoice in how that suffering changes us and brings Hum closer to us. And in suffering we truly learn to hope.
So the theory works. Now place yourselves next to your child's hospital bed, a part of her beautiful skull placed in her abdomen for safe keeping. A massive white bandage covers what was a cascade of hair. She is in an induced coma and a machine is breathing for her. There is talk of an infection and the swelling on her brain is a major concern. And you don't know if her spirit is present any more. You don't know if she will ever dance again.
It was when they have been faced with most people's versions of hell that Jaci and Richard have become the most inspirational witnesses of God's grace. If you have not read the daily blogs or Richard's updates I encourage you to. There is no greater testimony to God's unbelievable provision than watching how this week of suffering, of waiting, of no man's land has become a life changing miracle to all who have followed the Mun-Gavin's story. I cannot believe the utter surrender, trust and hope that these mere humans beings have been able to model for all of us. And it is not mickey mouse Bible study faith where it's all easy to say in theory, these two have surrendered their child, have sacrificed their own dreams for her, in order to submit themselves to the complete will of God. I can only pray that if I ever needed that kind of grace I would have the capacity to find it.
And as the New Year rings in this story grows in miraculous magnificence as we have watched Kiara reach up her hand and loving stroke her father's hair. It is actually too much to even process. From possible vegetable to a spirited child, all in a week, I dare medical science to try and explain it.
And it has been during this time that I have had a few possible early signs of labour. I'm not going to get into the medical details of it all but those of you who are familiar with childbirth will know of the signs I am referring to. And so this week has been a no man's land for me too where every cramp, hiccup and kick could possibly have been something else. And it has been complete torture. I keep emotionally preparing myself only to be disappointed that the moment hasn't arrived. But I'm also mindful of the tremendous change that is about to hit my heart and our household, specially the world of my little Gray, and that is also a completely daunting thought. And so much like the week between Christmas and new year I am stuck in the world of waiting, of flux, of change.
This year two things happened during this no man's land time that really put things into perspective for me. The first was that a very distant relation of mine, little Kiara Mun-Gavin, was in a horrific car accident which left part of her skull fractured. The second was that I started showing some early signs of labour.
Every day I have read the deeply powerful updates that Jaci (Kiara's mom) has been posting about their journey into a moment frozen in time. A moment no parent ever wants to consider. A moment when you have to face the possibility that the child you have created may die or be left in a state of severe brain damage and nonfunction.
It has been a story that has utterly captivated thousands of people across the world. It is a story so compelling that even the most hard hearted have been led to a place of vulnerability. And at this point it is not even about who Kiara is as a person - although by all accounts she seems to be the most magnificent of people. It is about her parents, Jaci and Richard.
Who of us can possibly say that we truly believe that if and when the time comes we can present our children before God and submit completely to His will for them? Now I am not one of those who believes that God secretly plans bad things to happen to good people. That's not the God I serve, and that is not what any parent would do to their child either. I do, however, believe that God has the power to bring grace, love and hope to any situation. Just as we as parents will hopefully try to assist our children in finding the positive out of the negative. The thing with God is that his positives are so much bigger than we can imagine and so we often blame Him for our suffering rather than rejoice in how that suffering changes us and brings Hum closer to us. And in suffering we truly learn to hope.
So the theory works. Now place yourselves next to your child's hospital bed, a part of her beautiful skull placed in her abdomen for safe keeping. A massive white bandage covers what was a cascade of hair. She is in an induced coma and a machine is breathing for her. There is talk of an infection and the swelling on her brain is a major concern. And you don't know if her spirit is present any more. You don't know if she will ever dance again.
It was when they have been faced with most people's versions of hell that Jaci and Richard have become the most inspirational witnesses of God's grace. If you have not read the daily blogs or Richard's updates I encourage you to. There is no greater testimony to God's unbelievable provision than watching how this week of suffering, of waiting, of no man's land has become a life changing miracle to all who have followed the Mun-Gavin's story. I cannot believe the utter surrender, trust and hope that these mere humans beings have been able to model for all of us. And it is not mickey mouse Bible study faith where it's all easy to say in theory, these two have surrendered their child, have sacrificed their own dreams for her, in order to submit themselves to the complete will of God. I can only pray that if I ever needed that kind of grace I would have the capacity to find it.
And as the New Year rings in this story grows in miraculous magnificence as we have watched Kiara reach up her hand and loving stroke her father's hair. It is actually too much to even process. From possible vegetable to a spirited child, all in a week, I dare medical science to try and explain it.
And it has been during this time that I have had a few possible early signs of labour. I'm not going to get into the medical details of it all but those of you who are familiar with childbirth will know of the signs I am referring to. And so this week has been a no man's land for me too where every cramp, hiccup and kick could possibly have been something else. And it has been complete torture. I keep emotionally preparing myself only to be disappointed that the moment hasn't arrived. But I'm also mindful of the tremendous change that is about to hit my heart and our household, specially the world of my little Gray, and that is also a completely daunting thought. And so much like the week between Christmas and new year I am stuck in the world of waiting, of flux, of change.
But God has placed witnesses in this week to guide me, to be the disciples He needs on this earth, to show me what real submission to His plan is. I have been humbled this week into being patient and wait for His perfect timing because if Jaci and Richard can do what they have done this week then I can do what I need to do. And that's how God works.
Comments
Post a Comment