Ma Wa Gray

I've just finished wrapping Gray's birthday presents. I wrapped them in left over Christmas wrapping paper, newspaper and masking tape. Rudolph is making his rounds twice this year. Luckily Stephen is into gift giving and has done most of the shopping because this year if it was left up to me Gray would be getting a pair of thermal pj's bought online because I was able to buy them from my bed. Last night I manged to be by myself for ten whole minutes. It was amazing. We needed milk. I jumped at the opportunity. After shoving a boob into Eva's mouth to make 100% sure she wasn't hungry and prying a screaming Gray off my legs I headed for the hills. Well, the petrol station down the road. Unencumbered by a pram, Baby Bjorn or small child asking for a treat I walked up and down all four aisles of the petrol station shop simply because I could despite the fact that I knew exactly where the milk was. And then when I got back to the car I repeatedly tried to switch the ...

Stephen posted a picture on our family group yesterday. It is a picture of the aftermath of the fire in Notre Dame. In the foreground is the wreckage of burnt history and in the background is a beautiful  perfect gold cross. I couldn't help but smile at what I perceive to be God's humour. A lot of people are angry about the response to the burning of this iconic cathedral and feel that rather than mourn the burning of a decrepit old building we should be focusing our energy on things that actually need saving. Like our planet. I have a similar response to these people but for entirely different reasons. I want to know if people are devastated because a national treasure has burnt down (one which the church battled to raise money to fix) or are they mourning the loss of a place of worship? My gut goes with the former. And this idea of places of worship then got me thinking about 'church'. Last week we tried to go to church for the first time since Eva's birt...

When Stephen and I met and decided that we rather 'fancied each other' - his exact words - we jokingly decided that our theme song would be 'Two less lonely people in the world'. But actually it couldn't have been more apt and in the last 24 hours I have been reminded again of how grateful I am to have a life with people in it. This may seem like an obvious statement - everyone lives lives with people in them but seeing people and being in daily relationships with them are two very different things. When I was living in Oman eight years ago (how delightfully time flies) I came to know loneliness in a very real and painful way. Fortunately it was only for 6 months but it was long enough for me to have a taste of some people's constant reality. I was lonely because I lived alone in a huge apartment in a completely alien country and I worked at night. This meant that I was not able to be part of any of the socializing that would normally happen in the evenin...

I had a friend. I use past tense because I haven't heard from him in over three years. He was my best friend. We went through a great deal as we battled through our formative adult years together. I tried desperately for about two years to stay in touch, to try and see him, to introduce him to my first baby. But there was no effort made from his side. I now have two children and I wonder if he even knows. I tore myself up wondering what might have changed his heart - was it me? My choice of spouse? My lifestyle choices? My diet? My faith? In the end I gave up my attempts at keeping the friendship going, I grieved, and I moved on. And do you know how I know that he really is no longer my friend? Facebook. He gave up Facebook several years ago and so there has been no way for either of us to keep track of each other's lives. There's no invisible internet calculator adding up the number of times we 'like' each other. There has been no way to half heartedly comment...