So long Facebook and thanks for all the 'likes'.
I had a friend. I use past tense because I haven't heard from him in over three years. He was my best friend. We went through a great deal as we battled through our formative adult years together. I tried desperately for about two years to stay in touch, to try and see him, to introduce him to my first baby. But there was no effort made from his side. I now have two children and I wonder if he even knows. I tore myself up wondering what might have changed his heart - was it me? My choice of spouse? My lifestyle choices? My diet? My faith? In the end I gave up my attempts at keeping the friendship going, I grieved, and I moved on.
And do you know how I know that he really is no longer my friend? Facebook.
He gave up Facebook several years ago and so there has been no way for either of us to keep track of each other's lives. There's no invisible internet calculator adding up the number of times we 'like' each other. There has been no way to half heartedly comment on a few of the major milestones, like a few photos and pretty much carry on with our lives lulled into the false impression that this is still a real relationship.
How many of us are still in those faux friendships thanks to Facebook?
For a number of weeks now I have been wrestling with myself. In fact it is not with myself. It is with God. Because I believe in Jesus and it is His spirit that I want to rehonour after some undisciplined living. Now normally I wouldn't make this kind of statement on social media because I have many friends who do not share my faith or who do not in fact have any belief system at all. And quite a few of them are actually quite militant about religion. Normally I would rather just remain neutral online.
And let's admit a lot of us remain neutral about almost everything on social media. We are afraid of judgement, of being seen as heretical, we are afraid of what the cool kids might think, we're afraid of being sued. The brother is big.
Isn't this exactly what Jesus told us not to do? We hide our truth because of fear or shame or judgment. We have become vanilla voyeurs of acts, opinions and sins because we are too afraid to speak up. For me it seems that anything goes on social media as long as it doesn't incite terrorism, violence, abuse etc. And we all just doggedly swallow it because we're too afraid to speak up.
And here's some more truth. I'm an addict.
Most of us are. Because none of us can get through the day or even an hour without surreptitiously checking our Facebook feed. It took me a long time just to train myself to not be online at bedtime and the moment I wake up.
In years to come the world is going to truly wise up to how social media has horrifically rewired our brains, either that or we will all have become insipid vanilla robots who give a thumbs up to anything. Only time will tell.
I also don't need to extol on how unbelievably fake everyone's lives on Facebook really are. Some people seem to be on constant holiday - I suspect it is that one holiday to Mauritius ten years ago with remixed photos resurfacing once you know people have forgotten about them. On Facebook everyones marriages are perfect, photos are only ever taken above eye level and children serve their parents breakfast in bed every morning. Yes, people are also very honest about their lives and the difficulties they are facing but sometimes Facebook can also just become a make believe whinging session. If you are feeling disconnected, depressed and isolated Facebook isn't going to save you because Facebook isn't real, people are.
Christ is about relationship. He is about acknowledging difficulties face to face and finding redemption through forgiveness. Christ is about being real, about admitting our limitations so that He can make us limitless. Christ is about being human. That is why He took on the human form. He was about touch, hugs, laughter and tears. He is completely tactile. Christ is about imperfection. He is about brokenness. He is about healing. He is about living.
I believe Facebook is robbing us of everything that Christ died for and everything He wants us to live for.
Facebook forces us to see things we do not want to see. Just yesterday I saw the foetus of an unborn rhino calf whose mother had been poached. It did not do wonders for my psyche. I didn't want to see that.
Facebook steals our autonomy. It manipulates our emotions and controls our relationships.
It desensitizes us and at the at the time fills us with terror.
And, like all good drugs, it keeps us coming back for more.
And so Facebook I'm going to take my life back. I'm going to be real with the real people in front of me. I'm going to invest in friendships that give me something back, not just a 'like'. I am going to protect myself from the images and stories that you readily spew at me. I am going to look for Christ in the real world rather than lies in the virtual world.
I'll see you every now and then for a quick catch up on notifications but the mindless hours of scrolling are over. You do nothing for me.
It's not me, it's you.
Relationship status: Emily is no longer in a relationship with Facebook.
And do you know how I know that he really is no longer my friend? Facebook.
He gave up Facebook several years ago and so there has been no way for either of us to keep track of each other's lives. There's no invisible internet calculator adding up the number of times we 'like' each other. There has been no way to half heartedly comment on a few of the major milestones, like a few photos and pretty much carry on with our lives lulled into the false impression that this is still a real relationship.
How many of us are still in those faux friendships thanks to Facebook?
For a number of weeks now I have been wrestling with myself. In fact it is not with myself. It is with God. Because I believe in Jesus and it is His spirit that I want to rehonour after some undisciplined living. Now normally I wouldn't make this kind of statement on social media because I have many friends who do not share my faith or who do not in fact have any belief system at all. And quite a few of them are actually quite militant about religion. Normally I would rather just remain neutral online.
And let's admit a lot of us remain neutral about almost everything on social media. We are afraid of judgement, of being seen as heretical, we are afraid of what the cool kids might think, we're afraid of being sued. The brother is big.
Isn't this exactly what Jesus told us not to do? We hide our truth because of fear or shame or judgment. We have become vanilla voyeurs of acts, opinions and sins because we are too afraid to speak up. For me it seems that anything goes on social media as long as it doesn't incite terrorism, violence, abuse etc. And we all just doggedly swallow it because we're too afraid to speak up.
And here's some more truth. I'm an addict.
Most of us are. Because none of us can get through the day or even an hour without surreptitiously checking our Facebook feed. It took me a long time just to train myself to not be online at bedtime and the moment I wake up.
In years to come the world is going to truly wise up to how social media has horrifically rewired our brains, either that or we will all have become insipid vanilla robots who give a thumbs up to anything. Only time will tell.
I also don't need to extol on how unbelievably fake everyone's lives on Facebook really are. Some people seem to be on constant holiday - I suspect it is that one holiday to Mauritius ten years ago with remixed photos resurfacing once you know people have forgotten about them. On Facebook everyones marriages are perfect, photos are only ever taken above eye level and children serve their parents breakfast in bed every morning. Yes, people are also very honest about their lives and the difficulties they are facing but sometimes Facebook can also just become a make believe whinging session. If you are feeling disconnected, depressed and isolated Facebook isn't going to save you because Facebook isn't real, people are.
Christ is about relationship. He is about acknowledging difficulties face to face and finding redemption through forgiveness. Christ is about being real, about admitting our limitations so that He can make us limitless. Christ is about being human. That is why He took on the human form. He was about touch, hugs, laughter and tears. He is completely tactile. Christ is about imperfection. He is about brokenness. He is about healing. He is about living.
I believe Facebook is robbing us of everything that Christ died for and everything He wants us to live for.
Facebook forces us to see things we do not want to see. Just yesterday I saw the foetus of an unborn rhino calf whose mother had been poached. It did not do wonders for my psyche. I didn't want to see that.
Facebook steals our autonomy. It manipulates our emotions and controls our relationships.
It desensitizes us and at the at the time fills us with terror.
And, like all good drugs, it keeps us coming back for more.
And so Facebook I'm going to take my life back. I'm going to be real with the real people in front of me. I'm going to invest in friendships that give me something back, not just a 'like'. I am going to protect myself from the images and stories that you readily spew at me. I am going to look for Christ in the real world rather than lies in the virtual world.
I'll see you every now and then for a quick catch up on notifications but the mindless hours of scrolling are over. You do nothing for me.
It's not me, it's you.
Relationship status: Emily is no longer in a relationship with Facebook.
Thanks Em! Tell me about it- I too am addicted to the hours of facebook scrolling. I spend hours trying to find the next inspiration, anxiously trying to find it on my feeds. But its not going to come. The creative needs time to explore, make mistakes, feel real fabric or paint. Seeing what other bloggers do, isn't going to make me more inspired. I don't know what my solution will be just yet!
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