Ma Wa Gray

It's Christmas morning. My elderly father-in- law and I are seated in the lounge and have been let off kitchen duty. Him due to stuffed kees thanks to a youth spent playing rugby for Natal and me with a spasming back because I'm 40 and I got out of bed incorrectly last night. I've been eying his zimmer frame covertly all morning. Right now that piece of machinery would be right up my shuffling alley. For a newly injured invalid I've started to check out the toilet rails in my in-laws home much like I would normally check out the peppermint crisp tart that my mother-in-law makes.  It has been a rough week injury wise. It's like my body heard the repeated chorus of 'happy birthday' at my various soirees and said, 'Oh so you're 40 now? Kiff, hold my beer.'  This week I've already had injections into my shoulder to stem the pain of what appears to be a rotator cuff injury, possibly a tear. As a result of that the referred spasm in my neck had me

 The fact that the Springboks won the last three matches of the Rugby World Cup every time by one point is almost Biblical. Three is a big number in the Bible and even if you're not into religion you must surely be feeling a bit David and Goliath this morning. South Africa doesn't have a lot going for it at the moment. You have to take out an overdraft to buy Butro, when it rains you're kak scared that your house will flood again, with Black Friday coming up we are all going to have to up our anxiety meds in lieu of our last looting experience, we are faced with mass unemployment, the worst gender based violence in the world, starving and uneducated children and really swak politicians. The list really is endless, we are very much the SABC 2 third world version of David.  Let's just consider the giants we played in the quarter and semi finals. You don't really  get more prosperous and powerful first world foes. I mean half our South African team plays for their club

 A month ago Gray woke up and said he didn't want to go to school. His sister concurred. As a teacher I abhor parents who let their kids rule the roost and their absence percentile. But for this day, for some reason, I agreed to letting them stay at home. My parting words as I left for work were, 'If there is an emergency run next door to Cindy and then run to my classroom.' (We live on campus).  Two hours later my children walked into the kitchen to find our beloved nanny, Memory, unconscious on the kitchen floor. And they did what I instructed them to do and literally saved her life. She had had a seizure due to high blood pressure and would have asphyxiated on the floor had Cindy not been there to get her breathing. I was then alerted, raced home, got Memory to hospital and she is recovering. It was a traumatic experience for all of us. We've had play therapy and with all the stresses of normal life on top of managing my kids and their trauma I decided to revisit an

  I just wanted you to know that you are winning at what is most important. You are putting most of us to shame, in fact. You are doing what most of us feel nauseatingly guilty for not doing. You are being present with and for your children because you know, more than anyone else, how important being present with your children is. Yesterday I played Barbies with Eva. After a holiday that included trips to game reserves, farms and the beach I finally actually did what my daughter has been craving for three weeks. I sat on the uncomfortable floor of her bedroom and played Barbies and unicorns. I will be honest, I was bored after the first ten minutes, but I pushed through for about half an hour. And then I went to cook supper. After this I did some statistical analysis to work out how much time in my children's lives I actually do the things that will fill their love tanks up and make them feel valued and I suddenly didn't feel worthy of my children.  And then I thought of the li

   Never in my life has someone said to me, 'I did the best spreadsheet last night. While doing it I laughed, I cried, I connected with myself, with the world, I felt empathy. I could see myself in that spreadsheet. But I could also see others. It changed my life.' But I hear almost daily- I watched the most beautiful film... I listened to the most amazing song... Viewed the most moving exhibition... Watched the most incredible dance... Saw the most compelling production... Also a phrase that I've seldom heard is, 'At this institution/government/school/tertiary institution we value empathy, creativity, connectivity and humanity above all else and as such we prioritize the subjects that teach such skills by making the arts as important as the other important aspects that make up our institution.' How is it that the very things we cannot, as a human race, live without are the very things that are always sidelined? How is it that artists in every single form are stil

There is a moment in every parent's life where the fog lifts and one can see the nappies for the wet wipes. That first morning where one wakes up feeling relatively refreshed to discover that one's baby has actually slept through for the first time. What follows is an almost hysterical desire to reenact everything from the day before because clearly something worked.  The tactic generally fails because babies aren't robots but that brief glimpse into a night of rest does provide a glimmer of hope on the long endless, sleepless horizon.  It doesn't get any easier as children grow older though. In fact it just gets more complex. I dread to my core the moment my children become teenagers because I know what I'm in for and it isn't pretty. My desire to control every aspect of their lives will come to a screeching halt and that doesn't rest well with me.  Because, and I'm going to be honest here, parenthood has certainly brought out the control freak in me. I