Lent Day 16: Death Rattle

I've had a macabre hour. My colleague and I were comparing the very long drawn out end to this term to the breaths of someone dying. She then very graphically gave a live performance of the 'death rattle'. We're Drama teachers so it was quite a compelling performance. 

I then went straight from our death rattle chat to print my Funeral Benefit form. While I was filling in Stephen's details it struck me as a bit crap that, should he benefit from this insurance, I wont be there to enjoy it with him. The same pang happens when my banking app informs me that the payment for my life insurance has come off my account. Yet another payment I will ultimately not be enjoying.

I then went up to admin to drop off my Funeral Benefit form and we had further macabre and irreverent chats about the weirdness of paying for something that literally is of no benefit to one whatsoever. We giggled at the thought of upgrading a funeral based on ones funeral policy - savory or sweet snacks? Flowers? A special dress for coffin wear? I think we all need a holiday.

My colleague then told the story of when her mother in-law was nearing the end around the same time that the mammoth Nelson Mandela funerals were happening. Being all funeralled out they asked her to hold out a little longer. I then remarked that by the time my grandfather was ready to die he would wake up from an afternoon nap disappointed because he hadn't died yet. 

And I suddenly had a flash of something that was far from macabre and far from irreverent.

I saw my grandfather reunited with all his people. I saw the aftermath of his 'death rattle' and it was literally beyond this world. I saw his parents, his beloved friends who were killed in the war, I saw my grandmother, I saw all my ancestors. I was just filled with an unexpected joy at the thought that his death was not the end but just the beginning.