Ma Wa Gray

 A month ago Gray woke up and said he didn't want to go to school. His sister concurred. As a teacher I abhor parents who let their kids rule the roost and their absence percentile. But for this day, for some reason, I agreed to letting them stay at home. My parting words as I left for work were, 'If there is an emergency run next door to Cindy and then run to my classroom.' (We live on campus).  Two hours later my children walked into the kitchen to find our beloved nanny, Memory, unconscious on the kitchen floor. And they did what I instructed them to do and literally saved her life. She had had a seizure due to high blood pressure and would have asphyxiated on the floor had Cindy not been there to get her breathing. I was then alerted, raced home, got Memory to hospital and she is recovering. It was a traumatic experience for all of us. We've had play therapy and with all the stresses of normal life on top of managing my kids and their trauma I decided to revisit an ...

  I just wanted you to know that you are winning at what is most important. You are putting most of us to shame, in fact. You are doing what most of us feel nauseatingly guilty for not doing. You are being present with and for your children because you know, more than anyone else, how important being present with your children is. Yesterday I played Barbies with Eva. After a holiday that included trips to game reserves, farms and the beach I finally actually did what my daughter has been craving for three weeks. I sat on the uncomfortable floor of her bedroom and played Barbies and unicorns. I will be honest, I was bored after the first ten minutes, but I pushed through for about half an hour. And then I went to cook supper. After this I did some statistical analysis to work out how much time in my children's lives I actually do the things that will fill their love tanks up and make them feel valued and I suddenly didn't feel worthy of my children.  And then I thought of the l...

   Never in my life has someone said to me, 'I did the best spreadsheet last night. While doing it I laughed, I cried, I connected with myself, with the world, I felt empathy. I could see myself in that spreadsheet. But I could also see others. It changed my life.' But I hear almost daily- I watched the most beautiful film... I listened to the most amazing song... Viewed the most moving exhibition... Watched the most incredible dance... Saw the most compelling production... Also a phrase that I've seldom heard is, 'At this institution/government/school/tertiary institution we value empathy, creativity, connectivity and humanity above all else and as such we prioritize the subjects that teach such skills by making the arts as important as the other important aspects that make up our institution.' How is it that the very things we cannot, as a human race, live without are the very things that are always sidelined? How is it that artists in every single form are stil...

There is a moment in every parent's life where the fog lifts and one can see the nappies for the wet wipes. That first morning where one wakes up feeling relatively refreshed to discover that one's baby has actually slept through for the first time. What follows is an almost hysterical desire to reenact everything from the day before because clearly something worked.  The tactic generally fails because babies aren't robots but that brief glimpse into a night of rest does provide a glimmer of hope on the long endless, sleepless horizon.  It doesn't get any easier as children grow older though. In fact it just gets more complex. I dread to my core the moment my children become teenagers because I know what I'm in for and it isn't pretty. My desire to control every aspect of their lives will come to a screeching halt and that doesn't rest well with me.  Because, and I'm going to be honest here, parenthood has certainly brought out the control freak in me. I...

  Martin Visvang (alias) has a special app on his phone that counts down one camping trip to the next. He likes to check on it every so often when he pretends that his constipation has got the better of him but he actually needs some time out from the kids...and the wife.  His last trip to Satara was a huge success and his local mountain biking okes don't seem to be tired of his repeated story of the honey badger that stole his kid's Safari Fruit Flakes. He's even christened the animal Scedadle Skunk. He still chuckles about his witty name idea circa 1987. Martin has a limited repertoire when it comes to humor but his mates stick around because what he lacks for in laughter (to his face) he makes up for in rigorous preparation and gadget purchases when it comes to his biannual camping trips with mates.  And Martin keeps these mates around even though they don't get his insanely kiff sense of humor because he can't make small talk with his wife around a camp fire for...

A week ago I watched your mousy little figure sing in Winterton's local choir - a hodge podge of choristers all united in their love for music.  You were a fascination to me. I know everyone else - there's Pam who sowed my last minute wedding dress in the space of 24 hours. There's Jen who has called me Sarah Bernhart from the moment I first appeared on stage at the age of six. There's BB whose birthdays messages for me on Facebook read more like prophetic poems. There's dear John who married me to my husband... every beautiful singing face tells a story from my life... except yours.  After the rehearsal my mom told me a little about you. About how Shirl Stockil brought you into the kingdom of God many many years ago. So we had that in common. And how you have served Jesus with your entire being ever since that moment. I can't say I have been as faithful.  I once found myself in a Godless country. One where the military men I was teaching were weeping with the n...

The puppy arrives. We coo. He sleeps, eats, poos... a lot. Sometimes we forget he is there. He's so small. We haven't made space for him in our consciousnesses yet. We know we will love him for who he has been made to be, but for now when we can't see him we forget he is there. That's the way with new things. It takes a while for them to find space within us.  Day by day he will reveal himself in all his colour and empathy and presence.  And one day we will wonder how we ever cooked a meal without falling over him. How we faced heartache and depression without his knowing eyes. How we slept without his protection. How we were a family without him as a part of it. And then he will be gone.  Dogs don't go into perjury. There is little spiritual wrestling in a dog's death because they are born perfect and remain so, eternal reminders of the spirit that inhabits Heaven.  And the presence who came so discreetly and unobtrusively into our lives will be what we miss mo...