Only a dog... Lent Day 36

I think one of the hardest things about being a Christian is being able to explain the intangible concept of grace and forgiveness. One of the easiest ‘flaws’ used to poke holes in our faith is the idea that we can do something wrong, ask for forgiveness, do it again, ask for forgiveness, do it again and so on and so on. It’s an eternal cycle of clean slate-ing and repolluting. And I totally understand why this spiritual tenant can be criticised and why Christians use it as an excuse to continue committing sin. 

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve recently lost some weight. It has been hard work and required sacrifice and self-discipline. I’ve cut out all my comfort foods and have exercised more than I have in years. I’ve lost 7cm around my waist and am a kilogram of my goal weight. Apart from shaving off the fat I’m feeling better than I have in years. I am energised, feel far more positive about myself and am determined to keep to this change in lifestyle. 

Yesterday I was treated to the farewell tea of a colleague. The tea included some very illegal sweet treats which I ate in the definition of a split second. They unabashedly stood no chance. About half an hour later I hit the worst sugar slump and was filled with self loathing. It’s very demoralising when you’ve spent so much time exercising self-control only to throw caution to the wind and then feel completely kak afterward. 

I sound like one of those gym gurus who have weaselled their way onto my Youtube advertising - but what’s the point of getting yourself to a point of improved physical function only to disappoint yourself by giving in to momentary temptation. Is it worth the regret and literal physical distress you feel afterwards? Probably not. 

And then I realised - I have finally found my metaphor for forgiveness. 

Being in a relationship with Christ requires a commitment to live better. It requires that we make stronger long term choices, it means that in the moments of temptation we choose the high road, it means that we try to maintain optimal spiritual health. The less cluttered our hearts are the easier it is to feel Him. It means we shed the excess weight that makes us detest ourselves and that can ultimately be very harmful to us. It means we exercise our right to become better people. 

The thing about all relationships is that they are about reciprocity. Give and take. We cannot function in one sided relationships - or at least we can but they end up being parasitic - and no one wants to love a dead thing. Our relationship with Jesus is the same - we can merely take and take and take and think that that is a healthy relationship. Despite His capacity to love us, no matter what state we are in, we find extreme joy in playing our part in our relationship with him. The more we can give Him the more we get from Him. The purer and healthier we are the closer we can draw to Him. 

And so when we do wrong we can feel it immediately.We eat a huge illegal sugary thing. And it makes us feel terrible. Despite  the fact that we know we will always find forgiveness we also know that we have not honoured our relationship with Him. We have taken a step away from Him and it is in this separation that we find our own, self inflicted punishment. 

Just as we want to impress our trainers, our bios, our dieticians, our nutritionists with our impressive gains surely we can do so much more for Jesus? 

And so, despite the basic principle of forgiveness that undergirds our faith, we also have a far greater responsibility in our walk with God. This is not a tick box faith. It is not a ‘if you do this five times a day, and donate this, and behave like this’ kind of belief system. It is a relationship, a one in a million, intimate, reveal-all relationship. And with that comes a responsibility to do better, and be better - not because we know that even if we stuff up we’ll be forgiven but because we love an alive God. And because this is an active relationship we don’t want sin to separate us from this connection. We should be constantly seeking to learn that the bad things we did yesterday, the things that filled us with remorse and sorrow, are not going to be repeated today because only a dog goes back to its own vomit. Stop eating the sweet treats.  It’s really that simple.